2 am ramblings

I just finished my poetry assignment. It's 2 am. Sigh of relief.

Today I was thinking quite a bit about the importance of stepping away from a situation in order to see it objectively. I cannot tell you how many times throughout my life, something has happened that caused me to say, "Well shit! I'll neeeever be able to get over this!" And then the extraoridinary thing happens: I do.

But leave it to me to never trust myself enough to know I'll get past whatever is bothering me.

Sometimes when you're too close to a situation, you are blind as to what is actually going on. This could be physical/emotional abuse, drug/alcohol/other addictions, or just your average every day relationship that isn't worth holding on to.

A few weekends ago there was a day or two of recognition for people who self-injure and deal with depression and/or suicide, and I wondered how many of the people who are going through these things could benefit from taking a giant step back from the excess baggage in their lives. Taking out the "garbage" can be more relieving than one might think.

Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest. It's been hanging around in my mind for quite a while. And it'd be nice to go back and read this the next time shit hits the fan. (Hopefully never.  :)   )

A bang for your bunc(o)!

 

"The Ballad of Sexual Dependency", Nan Goldin

     

               I love this photograph for so many reasons, but most of all, because of the way she used color. Everything in this seems so intimate, but maybe I'm biased because I learned a while back that most of the people she photographed were her friends. I also am drawn to the James Dean-ish male at the end of the bed. I'd like to do a series of a man (or men) like that. But then again, what female wouldn't?

    Today I will be sweeping, dusting, rearranging furniture and cooking up a delicious assortment of foods in order to host tonight's BUNCO party. Roomie is at work all day, so I get to stay home and play the part of the 1960's housewife. 

Jello, anyone? Perhaps a mini-hotdog on a toothpick?

Gross. 

In other news, I was thinking of emailing my professor from a previous advanced composition class to look over a few chapters of my writing. She always liked me, and ran over to hug me on our last night of class, so I think she'll be up for it. We'll see. 

Off to be domesticated. 

More from Goldin below. 

 
   

Secondary blog!

Quick little note! My photography blog is (finally) up and running. I needed a place separate from Facebook to showcase my portfolio. You can visit it here:

Fleitas Fotografie

Rain, rain, rain

 

 Dreamer. Escapist. Romanticist. Stargazer. Transcendentalist?

The whole idea of honest blogging frightens me. It's not that I worry so much about putting myself out there on a platter. I just don't see why anyone would really care about my trifling thoughts.

I am by no means a realistic personality, so of course, the idea of blogging about my daydreams and ideas sounds exciting. But if you go to Google and search for the word "blog", an endless number of results display a one-click access to an infinite number of minds. Strangers everywhere are blogging, but about what? Probably about the very same fantastical crap that hits me like a lightning bolt, which I will then jump online and blog about, hailing it as some sort of epiphany. 

So maybe my blog won't introduce any new ideas or musings. Perhaps it will just be another link from one nobody to another, in hopes that someday, one of us will become a somebody and actually live up to all the dreams.

Letters from a 5th grader

Just as I finished the last entry, I looked over to the box under my desk where I keep some things from my past. A small book that I made out of construction paper back in 5th grade caught my eye. I opened it up, and the first page was written on February 7th, 1995, which is kind of fascinating, since today is February 7th as well.

So, I thought I would take a picture of a few of my entries on my iPhone and translate them on here, spelling errors and all. Enjoy.

"Febuary 7, 1995

My Dad and I some times do things together. For example, once my dad and I caught a cricket and we put it in a cricket box. At night I felt sorry for the cricket so I tiptoed downstaires and opened the door letting the cricket out. I was thirsty so I got some milk. I knew there would be more crickets. I knew there would. "

 

"Modeling" (no date given)

"When I was about five my fried, her sister, her brothers and I modeled. I dressed up in my blue sequend, sparkely dress. I put on a pearl sequrend crown and some pink sparkely sandels. I put on a sequned purse and I put on real makeup! I was Miss Sparkely Anne. My friends mother vidio taped us and my friend and I wach the movie some times. I looked so cute! I don't mean to brag but it's true! My hair was so long and I was so short. I used to say I would vow to never cut my hair. Thats another story. Sometimes I wished I never cut my hair"

(I left out all the underlined, emphasized words, but you can check them out below!)

 

"Feb 16."

"When I was little my bed was by my window I'de siton my bed ad say, 'I am Rupunzel the second and I am beautiful'...Dulce played my prince (even though she's a girl dog) and she would bark. I dress up and brush out my hair. I used to think that whenever a fire started, ever, one would climd down my hair for safety. Then I would hook my hair to a tree, swing to it and unhook my hair. I [heart] that part I was a silly kid. Hea! You may think I'm stupid for doing that but it's my fantisy and I [heart] it."

(check the illustration at the bottom!)

 

New Blog!

I should be studying. But after seeing Kristen's snazzy blog, I couldn't resist. I needed to create my own. I had a good time with my last blog attempt (maniac muffin), and while bitching, complaining, and making fun of people is always a good time, I felt it was time for me to step it up and mature a little.

With that said, I will still be bitching, complaining, and making fun of people. However, I will also be analyzing my life, which might get a little boring for you who prefer the silly side of me.

I also hope to create a joint blog where I can showcase an online portfolio of my photography, artwork and graphic design. This probably won't happen tonight. I have a government exam that I should be studying for.

One funny story I wanted to mention before I sign off...

We had critiques last week in class over our self portraits. One larger lady on the other side of the room looked at mine and thoughtfully commented, "The technique is okay, but I feel that your features look a little hispanic."

To which I replied, "Well, actually, I AM hispanic. So...thanks?"

The room roared with laughter and bitch got off her artistic high horse.

Part of me really wanted to comment on hers: "Well, the technique is okay, but I feel that your features look a little lardy."

Sweet dreams, kids.